Friday, April 28, 2006
So pissed..
Really really damn angry...
I wish I can go to the middle of no where and scream and shout for all I want.
I wanna pick up some stones and throw them so hard in a pond that I almost fall in..
I wanna punch those punching bags till sweat covers all my skin...
I WANNA BE OLD ENOUGH TO MAKE MY OWN CHOICES!!!!!!!!
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Dad's going to Canberra 2nd week after school starts.
Work conference for 4 days.At first,he was ok about us staying alone.
Then last evening,he called a friend of his-->
Aunty Mary.
That b*tch bullshitted and brainwashed dad.
Before bed last night we had a "discussion".
Dad was crapping about safety and the "law".
He told us we SHOULD stay at Aunty Mary's house(not confirmed).
I was protesting about inconvenience and lotsa stuff.
It just so happened that Aunty Mary has a son,Aiken.
My bro and Aiken hates each other.
I can't believe my bro didn't protest as much when he's about to live with his enemy!
If only Aunty Mary didn't offer to let us stay...
Anyway,our "discussion" was interrupted by a phone call.
This morning I woke feeling alright.
I helped cook curry chicken for lunch.
Was in a happy mood then.
In the afternoon,
I made chocolate chip cookies.
It was really good.
Then came the evening.
Touched the subject about staying at her house.
Ben(my bro)asked dad about it.
Dad went,"Yeh you're going to stay."
WTF?!
How can he just confirm it by himself overnight?
I told him that.
He just said,"Anyway you still HAVE TO stay."
Last night he was saying we SHOULD stay.
Suddenly overnight he tell us we HAVE TO stay.
It's like as if we dun have any power to object.
It's like we can't not go because he said we have to.
During dinner dad made it clear we are going.
It's a "no option" thing.
I dun care.
I told my bro Im not packing my bags.
It's either that or I pack my bags with heaps of stuff.
And I mean heaps.
I decided I still have to go so I'll pack my bags when it's time to do so.
I'll pack lotsa clothes,
pillows,
food,
and like,my whole room.
Not forgetting my teddy!
Then I'll arrive there with the longest face on earth.
Make sure Aunty Mary won't want to offer her house again.
I know I might sound like a damn stubborn and selfish person.
But dun forget,I'm being forced.
We can't stay at home alone coz we're underage.
I'm too young.
Too young to make my own decisions and choices.
Still under mummy and daddy.
still a little baby.
still hafta listen to them.
ALL THAT SHIT.
I know sometimes they mean good
but they force us to do things we dun want to.
For example,
had to tag along to that gathering with dad's friends
spending my whole afternoon playing pool and darts.
complete waste of my time.
I didn't even need to be there.
The gathering won't be any different without me there.
Can't wait to turn 18.
seriously.
Then I dun have to follow them around
like their little girl...
*********************************
So much anger boiling in me
I really dunno why
dunno why im so against staying over...
dunno why i got SO pissed.
SO MAD
~ALL BOTTLED UP~
amanDa @ 9:08 PM
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